Research shows these key factors are essential to a healthy, happy and satisfying partnership for years to come. If you could find out the secret that keeps couples happy and together for the long haul, wouldn’t you want to know? We thought so.
Happy, long-term
couples shared nine key factors, from being able to fight nice to having a satisfying sex life.
They also found that these couples weren’t annoyingly blissful all the time
either. “What we can see is that there are still some issues to work out for
the couples who are stable and long-term—everything isn’t perfect,” explains
Ilona Jerabek, Ph.D., president of PsychTests. “But the common theme
for those with happy, long-term relationships is ‘togetherness.’ They do things together, they work out issues
together, they discuss and they share."
Here are the 8 signs that you’re in a
solid and satisfying relationship:
#1: You love and appreciate each
other.
Love is, of course,
the essential ingredient in any happy, romantic relationship so it’s no shocker
that it nabbed the number one slot. But its occasionally forgotten sidekick—appreciation—is one of the key factors that keeps love
alive. “I tell my clients never to take their partner for granted,” says Rachel
Sussman, psychotherapist, relationship expert and author of “The Breakup Bible.” “The small acts of kindness—the thank
you’s, making an extra cup of coffee for your partner—these little things go a
really long way.”
#2: You openly share your thoughts
and feelings.
In a healthy
relationship, you can open up and share how you feel without your partner
mocking you, rolling his eyes at you or
ignoring you. “It’s really important to be able to articulate if something is
bothering you—whether it’s about your own personal stuff or if your partner is
doing something that’s upsetting you,” says Sussman. “Having open communication
and constructive criticism is an opportunity for you both to take a look at
yourselves and grow and change.”
#3: You make decisions together and
share the burden of responsibilities.
From paying for lunch
to cleaning up after a meal (if at home) to picking up holiday cards, healthy
couples tackle their daily “to-do” list as a team to keep their relationship
and household humming along. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to divvy up
chores even-steven, but rather it’s important to chat about expectations,
suggests Sussman, and decide together who should do what to eliminate
frustration (“You didn’t take out the trash!”).
#4: You strive to resolve conflict
constructively.
Rather than going for
low blows or having an explosive fight, stable partnerships are able to navigate
those tricky relationship time bombs, such as where to spend the holidays, with respect and a focus on finding solutions you’re
both satisfied with.
#5: Your goals and values are in
sync.
Whether it’s the fact
that you and your partner both want two kids, or you’re on the same page with
religion, having shared values and goals helps keep a couple connected and
heading the same direction.
#6: You make spending quality time
together a priority.
Bonded couples are
happy with the amount of time they spend together and find activities they can enjoy
together. “When couples come to
me because infidelity is
involved and their connection fell apart, it can be because they’ve stopped
spending time together and having fun together,” says Sussman. “So do
activities—go to the gym together, ride bikes, spend time with friends, travel
and have new experiences. It’s bonding.”
#7: You're satisfied with your social
life as a couple.
Whether you're both
the life of the party, total homebodies, or one of each, happy couples are cool
with what each partner brings to the table socially, rather than trying to change the other person into someone they’re not.
#8: You feel a
sense of freedom.
Stable
couples express their opinions freely and don’t feel suffocated or held back by
the relationship in any way. “The relationship shouldn’t feel like a burden,
like it’s sucking life out of you, but rather that it’s breathing life into
you,” says Sussman.
By Rachel Grumman Bender
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