Does Paraffin Really Lower Your Libido?

While in school, have you ever had that meal of Githeri (that’s served way too often in the week) and there’s a distinctly nauseating, well pronounced tang? It’s very familiar to you because it brings back memories of times when you had to use the stove at home due to unavoidable circumstances. Then the reality of the matter smacks you hard across the face because you are certain that that distinct aroma is actually PARAFFIN! In this edition of The Insyde Storo, our team goes deep to find out if it is really true that school administrations use paraffin to lower the libido of high school students …

 

We’ve always known that this particularly non-odorless Alkaline is a regular ingredient in our chow in school; and for dubious purposes at that. But what scientific basis do the culprits have to justify this? Does paraffin really lower excess libido (sexual urges or ‘tha thaast’)?
“High schools are naturally considered sexually frustrating environments by many who don’t possess self-control – which is a bare essential. I mean, you’re a guy- when you wake up in the morning; the people to your left, right and even the bunk on top of you are guys. You’re class is a room filled with over forty other guys and when you’re out for sports or whatever, needless to say it’s always a testosterone-charged environment,” says a TA in a Nairobi school while commenting on the need for self control among boarders. He did not however comment on the paraffin story.
Many who provided input into the matter insisted they remain anonymous for fear of persecution. A head cook in one of the national schools in the country admitted to using paraffin in food as it’s used as a drying agent in beans. Asked whether they use it hoping to achieve any effect whatsoever on the students (positive or negative), the man chose to remain silent on the matter, leaving a lot to question.
Reactions from concerned parties remained the same as many, if not all, insisted the paraffin is used as a drying agent. When pressed deeper about the libido issue, they chose to remain dodgy giving vague answers. Some insisted the smell in the food was due to improper storage, as food quickly “picks up” the smell of paraffin when stored near it.
But reports from the students massive indicate that the occurrence is way too common and can’t be dismissed as a mere mistake. The people responsible for food storage in schools can’t all be making the same mistake! The Insyde Storo team had to get behind the myths and unearth the truth. It seems that this was our first case of the 2nd Term to solve.
After much investigation, The Insyde Storo team was able to get a credible source that admitted to the use of paraffin for purposes of, in his words, ‘Control’. “We want guys to concentrate on their studies and not other things,” he said in defense. “We are justified in our actions because we get to achieve control in a volatile environment,” the TA from a highly influential chic school said.
But these comments reflect the very height of ignorance. Paraffin, as our team discovered, has absolutely no effect whatsoever on human sex drive a.k.a. libido a.k.a. thaast!
Here are the Facts:
- Paraffin is used to aid bowel movements in persons suffering from chronic constipation.
- It is also applied to tins to ensure that loaves are easily released when cooked. That’s why bread sometimes reeks of that odor.
- It also coats fruits or other items requiring a ‘shiny’ appearance for sale.
- Medically, ingesting large amounts of paraffin can cause paraffin poisoning or intestinal blockage. It is deemed impossible by all principles of biology that the paraffin be taken up by cells to bring about any metabolic or hormonal changes as it passes through the alimentary canal without itself being taken into the body.
Though we give the benefit of the doubt, it is certainly disturbing that myths lacking any substance can affect us so directly.
Well, there you have it. The Insyde Storo is that paraffin doesn’t lower libido in any way whatsoever!